Martes, Nobyembre 4, 2014

Bakit wala pa akong boyfriend?

Have this question ever crossed your mind? Well, it did cross back and forth to me many times tho. And these are my top reasons why I still don't have  a boyfriend. Shall we?

Aside from the fact that no one is courting me, I have various reasons why I can't be in a relationship status:

1. I am not ready for marriage yet.

To every man and woman out there, you should start renewing your perspective about relationship. It's no game baby! It never was. My definition of game is not as the same as my definition of love and relationship.

I know for a fact that relationship was design for a purpose. So what's the purpose? It was created to lead you both in marriage. Think about it, am I ready to get married?

According to Pastor Ronald Molmisa, the author of Lovestruck books and the founder of Lovestruck Movement, he said "All relationships should be motivated by marriage, get married and not mere casual and temporal flirtationship." (read his blog: 10 Dakilang Aral sa Pakikipag relasyon)

So if you are still in elementary, please don't even think about relationship yet. High school and College are not your license to enter relationship, nor your age. Believe me, I understand the raging hormones within you, but you can control them. You are the boss of yourself, not the hormones within you. Consider maturity my dear. :)

2. I need to check my heart condition.

How's your heart by the way? Is it broken, whole, empty, used, lost, fulfilled, shattered, new, old, fresh, or spoiled?

Can you tell the exact condition of your heart? You know most of the time people were unaware of their heart's condition and it's risky to get into a relationship without checking its condition. Put it like this, you are about to run 50km marathon and you didn't have any preparation at all. No exercise, no proper diet, no practice as in none at all. You know what could happen? You might end up in the emergency section of the nearest hospital.

You see, we need to prepare before we go to a marathon. Same thing with relationship. If you are not prepared, you might visit your heart broken into pieces, not in the hospital but in the grave. You might end up hating the person whom you loved once. You might hurt other people because you are hurt too. Wounded hearts cannot heal other people. How's your heart? Is it in a good condition?

If you are wounded and unsure if you are ready to commit or might be feeling empty, please don't try to get the wrong medicine and enter into a relationship. Please get well first. Baka makahawa ka pa!

My suggestion is find the lover of your Soul. The One who can satisfy your need for love and who can fully fulfilled the emptiness in you. God can make you whole again. It may sound religious to you but, I tell you, only Him and through Him you can find answers in life.

3. I am immature.

Yes, I am! I am full of foolishness.

But Hey! I ain't what you're thinking! The old maid with unrealistic standards and highly maintained principles about relationship that will soon end up with no one!

I say that I'd rather choose being wise and have no one than to be fool and end up with someone that made me miserable and more foolish for the rest of my earthly life. *sober*

*see? would you consider this mature talk? Hahaha. People who are reading it right now might be raising their brows at me!*

I didn't say that I must be perfect before entering into relationship. But I am considering my emotional, psychological and spiritual maturity. Am I ready?

4. I am a fan of romance.

Hey! If you are like me, please get over Cinderella stories and once upon a time Prince charming will come in your life and both of you will live happily ever after! Cut that crap off sister! Fairy tales are only to be found in movies and disney. Get out of their world, you are real and they are not. Time to
have a strong distinction between reality and fantasy.

How would you know if you are a fan of romance?

  • You have this assuming hobby of having a significant other.Yung tipong nakasakay mo lang sa jeep, na-imagine mo na agad na pwedeng maging kayo o kaya yung classmate mo na crush mo na nang matagal at one day iniisip mong mapapansin ka nya at magiging happy ever after kayo.
  • You watch romantic films and think that You are the woman/man in the movie. Dahil relate much ka, paulit-ulit mong iniisip na ikaw si Basha at siya si Popoy.. gusto mong makipag balikan at syempre magkakabalikan nga kayo... in your dreams nga lang!
  • You think that all men getting close to you likes you. Haba ng hair teh!? O mahaba lang ang thread ng imagination mo. Come on! We do have intuition, but don't over use it. Yung tipong nakasabay mo lang sa MRT o LRT, may happy ending agad kayo? Wag ganun!
  • You express your fantasy through wattpad. No offense sa wattpad writers and readers ah! I have nothing against you. Gustong gusto mong magbasa ng fantasy and romantic stories na likha ng isip ng ibang tao. Eh sino bang hindi?! Kahit ako nagbasa ng Diary ng Panget at She's dating a gangster.

Cut this unrealistic thoughts darling. It won't help you grow. Sabay tayong gumising. I also struggle in this, what I did is, I read.. I read blogs about relationship and books that would help me grow and understand dating process in a realistic manner. Try listening to online podcast or radio. I recommend that you listen to LoveStruck Radio, FEBC's online radio.

5. I am hoping that "HE" would like me too.

Is this a qualified reason not to be in a relationship? Well, may be not for you, but for me it is.

I can't enter in a relationship if I am holding on to someone. Come on! *may mga single din (NBSB) na kailangan mag move on* At para naman sa iba, you cannot enter in a relationship if you can't forget about your ex. Yung tipong naiwan sa kanya ang puso mo. Segway *meron kaming series sa aming youth service entitled NA KANINO PUSO MO*

If you are in the same shoe as mine or can't forget your ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, I suggest that you stop thinking about him/her and live your life. Stop thinking too much about the idea of being together with him/her. Stop the "what if's" in your head that gives you more hope to continue liking him/her. Stop back reading his/her text message, chat message on Facebook. Stop looking at his/her picture at night. Stop listening to music that would make you remember about him/her. If you want to free from this emotion and move on, you have to decide to let go and be free.

One of the songs that helped me was "AYAW NA KUNG AYAW GUSTO KUNG GUSTO" of Cathy Go. You have to make everything clear before entering in a relationship. Tanggalin mo muna lahat ng sabit sa buhay mo. Remove all those unnecessary emotional baggages in your heart and memory storage. Control + ALT + Delete is possible in real life, because moving on is a decision. Another important thing to bear in mind is this, "God is close to the brokenhearted."

God allows brokenness so He could make us whole and find ourselves whole in Him. His perfect and unending love can sustain our dying need for love, care and attention.

6. I need to wait for GOD'S SIGNAL!

Signal number 1, 2, 3 and 4? HAHAHA.
Why not? Why not pray and ask God for signal.

But again, make sure that you are ready and prepared to enter this another chapter of your life. Take time to pray and ask God for guidance. Read sensible relationship themed books that are biblical based. Heed your Parent's advice, mature friends and leaders. *extra note, may go signal na ba ang parents mo if you can enter in a relationship? if meron, wait for God's signal, if wala, wait for both God and your parents*

Surrender your pen  to God, for He is the greatest author of our life, including your love life. He do cares about you! He loves you! Allow Him and His love take you through this journey of life. God bless you! :)

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