Huwebes, Disyembre 28, 2017

Making my days count

I've been very lazy updating my blog. I felt like there's plenty of time wasted this 2017 because I choose the slack, the bed, and the freaking Netflix and chill. Well, easier said than done but I plan and goal that my next year would be entirely different.

I only look forward to a major leisure travel with friends but planning not to get any more trips for the rest of the year. Why? I need to have a savings goal. I need to push myself to SAVE and INVEST.

I'm turning 24 this year and I felt like I haven't done anything big yet.

I feel deep in my soul that dissatisfaction in life. Perhaps, it is that one thing connected to my very core, to my very soul. I missed running and chasing after Jesus. I'd be honest, this year was a slack for my spiritual life. I've been chasing after the life I dream to have while I set aside the LIFE itself.

Linggo, Hunyo 11, 2017

I'm not going to marry just yet

I'm not marrying anyone at this point of time. I do have a boyfriend and I pray that we are heading towards marriage, but not too soon, not now.

Is it because I'm unsure of him? No. Surely, he has been everything I wanted to grow old with for the rest of my entire life.

Is it because we're not financially capable yet? No. We are capable. But we wanted better lives for each other instead of settling down for what we currently have.

Is it because we're immature? No. As we progress, God brings out the maturity we need for each season. He has his battles and I have mine. We draw strength in the Lord. He forms our character, we grow in maturity and more so when we settle down.

Is it because we're not ready yet? No. This relationship prepares us for lifetime commitment. When I said yes to my boyfriend, I also said yes to God- to love this person unconditionally and to love him the way Jesus loves me. It's not an easy thing to do, but it makes us ready to accept each other for who we are. Set aside the romantic vibes, for everyday is a decision to be committed in this relationship no matter what.

Is it because of the time? Yes. It's not yet the time. In due time, I believe that God would give his signal when to settle down. This season is the best time to serve God fully, to be all out and to maximize both our season for His glory. We don't want to get ahead of ourselves. There are more tasks to do and we don't want to miss it.

What made me write about this? It's because one of our young people at church ask us both, "ate, kuya minsan ko lang kayo makita magkasama tas di pa kayo magkatabi"

The boyfriend replied, "we're not the typical type of couple..."

I would agree. We're not the typical type of romantic boyfriend and girlfriend who says sweet words at each other. We're not the 24/7  calling, texting and seeing each other. We're not going out of days like most couples do, we seldom do it. We're not public display of affection type, to be honest, we haven't even kissed yet. (Seriously? Yes, seriously) We're just guarding ourselves. I believe it's worth saving and it has its perfect season to be clingy and to be physically attached. (Extreme? Yes u can call that, but if it honors God, why not- right?)

I realize that we're kinda unique. Our ways of expressing love and concern to one another is not as the same as everyone. As a woman, I battled against comparison of the why's and the what if's of being in relationship. I dream of having someone who is clingy and sweet but that's not actually what I needed
 When I gave God the pen to write my lobe story, I did not expect it to be like this. It's not sweet, nor bitter. It's pretty much the reality of loving someone the way Jesus loves me- without condition. I learned my boyfriend's way of expressing his love language. Truly, we are completely opposite yet we compliment each other.

I am not a perfect partner. I have short comings and failures but I thank God for sustaining me. This is a cord of three. God is in the middle. At most times I would rant to God about my relationship and how I struggle but the more I pray, the more God showed me his unrelenting love. I did not expect to discover that in such a manner.

God design marriage, he is the author of it. God created woman to be man's suitable helper. Jesus commanded the woman to submit to his husband and the man to love his wife just as Christ love the Church.

I gave a word to my boyfriend in our current season. It is "right now, do what we ought to do for the glory of God,  we have the rest of our lives to be together."

I pray that God would sustain our relationship. Less drama and more of Him. Less of ourselves and more of God.

Biyernes, Hunyo 9, 2017

I love you at your darkest

I'm a victim of self-inflicted pain. I overthink. I hurt myself with thoughts that are not actually true. I press on lies back and forth in my heart and mind. I kept playing it like a music. It made me sad, angry, dissatisfied, longing, bitter, jealous and hurt. I was lamenting at remnants of my previous joy and victory. 'This is not the place where I wanted to be.' I said to myself.

In my dark days at my most unlovable state, I remember Christ. How did he manage to love someone like me? How did he manage to die for someone like me and allow me to live in the light of his glory? Do I deserve this? Certainly not, yet he reached out and pursued me even if I tore his hearts many times with my foolish ways, unfaithfulness and stubborn heart.

I thought, maybe I'm a modern Israelite. The Lord is on my lips but far from my heart. I followed the stubborn ways of my heart. For many times, I forgot the LORD my God and ran after many idols that I thought could surpass Him. I was so foolish.

In my dark days at my most lost state, I remember Christ. How did he manage to run after me and save me from the pit of destruction and death? He reminded me of the victory finished on the cross. He is sovereign over sin. He is the Almighty God and no one is above him. He is the Alpha and Omega, my beginning and end. Jesus is my hope. Jesus is my 'go, get up, and live'. Jesus is my chance. Jesus is serious about saving me, many times.

And I thought, wow. I know there's more that my Jesus has in store for me. My friends should know Him too. My brothers should experience Him too. People around me should taste and see what the Lord has done.

I mean, as I receive and continuously experiencing His goodness, grace, compassion, forgiveness, unconditional and unrelenting love, I wanted to be that channel. FOR A LONG TIME NOW, I THIS IS WHEN I'M GOING TO SAY THIS AGAIN- I WANTED TO BE LIKE JESUS. I WANT TO LOVE, LIKE HIM. I WANTED TO BE LIKE HIM. I WANTED PEOPLE TO EXPERIENCE WHAT THE INTIMACY WITH HIM. I WANT TO WITNESS HEALING AND RESTORATION.


Huwebes, Mayo 4, 2017

When God talks back ASAP

Have you ever had that experience when you utter a prayer and got an instant response from God through the bible? I just had that tonight, after a long time. I simply prayed tonight with all my heart and with all honesty. I utter words of humility to God and literally said everything I went through the whole day. I blurted worries, thoughts, fears and simply just all I could think of while in prayer. I prayed for sustainability and direction in life, career, relationship, family, and ministry.

You know what, this is what God told me in Isaiah 46:4

Miyerkules, Mayo 3, 2017

How could life be frustrating for a 23-year-old?

It is normal to get frustrated. We all had those moments! My adulthood just nearly started, I mean it took a while to sink in all the responsibilities and the realities of life. I ain't kid anymore. Life just gets tougher and we just need to grow ourselves to be tough too! You and I are still in the phase of adulting and there are life tests that we must surpass. This is for those 23-year-old out there!

Biyernes, Marso 31, 2017

Life lessons from a tough week

I've been through a lot recently and I'm so filled with so much stories and life lessons. Let me start with- God has been faithful in every season of my life. I am practicing to be grateful for whatever circumstances I've been through lately.

God supplies beyond immeasurable strength.

Our company participated on one of the biggest trade show for motorcycle parts in the Philippines and it requires me sleepless nights and up-to-morning jobs for almost a week. This may sound like I'm overreacting, but I'm gonna say it anyway- I've never been that tired on my entire life.

I remember that on the first day, I was already crying not because of any drama, but because I am thankful to the Lord for putting all those things together. At the end of the event, I also found myself crying and this time, it comes with a little bit of drama. Hahahaha Yet, I am still thankful to the Lord for giving me that immeasurable strength. My brother would attest to that since he's been my driver for that whole week.

At the last day of the event, I prayed out loud with my brother asking the Lord to protect us and help us by borrowing his strength and you know what, God did! That time, I know that our strength comes from the Lord. (and to be honest, I was afraid that I might collapse, but thanks to the Lord, he did not allow it to happen)

God is my strong tower, my help and my fortress,

This week, another challenge came to me. I learned that I am a victim of identify theft. My identity was used back in 2014 by someone and left more than ten thousand pesos debt. I was enraged, frustrated and puzzled. Why such thing happened to me? But still, it happened. I checked my heart and talk to the Lord.

I found a God as my help and my fortress, at the moment I know peace overtakes me. I followed all necessary procedure and now trusting God that he will clear my name. God is testing me, my character and trust to Him as my deliverer and my fortress, He is my greatest hero. :)

God is my purpose.

Something came up again in the office. Our CEO told me that I'll be juggling between two job roles and it made me feel uneasy. Whether they trust me or not, I still got questions despite of the answers that our CEO gave me. I squeeze through every brain cells in my head and I got a simple answer that draws me back why I initially work for that company. You know what it is? Simple. God is my purpose.

Whatever kind of job that this company gives me and whatever challenge they throw at me, God is my purpose and for a reason he put me there. Despite the urge to leave my current job and get the better opportunity, God dealt with me to stay. I'm still puzzled, but I'm trusting my Lord that for whatever reason, I am under his care and under his purpose.

All I have to do is to obey him and enjoy this season with Him.

Sabado, Pebrero 18, 2017

I've been out of the pace lately

I'm back. I just want to blog real fast before I hit the sack and get myself ready for church. This is officially my first blog for 2017 and yes, probably the last one because I just bought my own website! Can't wait to share it soon with the world. I'm going to miss blogger so much. Since high school, I've been using this and it's kinda hard to say farewell.

Finally, I got a handy laptop to use updating stories, content and blog posts. I might as well open a youtube channel even I am a frustrated vlogger in the making. Hahaha. 

It's still early 2017 and I wanted to remind myself that this year is the fruitful year in all the areas of my life. I don't want to take so much time blogging and writing because in a few minutes, I'll be leaving but yeah, I shall continue writing! Hahaha. I really miss this. 

Hey, don't be mad, I tried blogging. Here's the screenshot of all attempt blog posts for the past few months. Pardon me for not publishing it. 

Okay, let me end this already with, Hello! I'm back in blogging and watch out for the own website coming next month!God bless!